The woman who defied sexual abuse stigma

Princess Olufemi-Kayode

Her name is Princess Olufemi-Kayode. She is a columnist, a journalist and communication development expert. She is one of the few Nigerian women who have not allowed stigma keep them mourning after sexual abuse. As a teenager, she was sexually abused. Despite her open admission of being a victim of rape, she is happily married, with children.
Olufemi-Kayode’s experience made her realise the impact of the consequences of rape on victims. This led to her raising public awareness and seeking institutional support to meet the needs of abused children.
She founded Media Concern Initiative - for Women and Children aka MediaCon, a non-governmental organisation in 2003, to carry out sensitisation/education of the public on preventing Child Sexual Abuse.
In 2007, her efforts in this regard were recognised and she was awarded the prestigious Ashoka Fellowship by Ashoka for Public Innovators, an international organisation based in the United States. Her efforts also led to her becoming a recipient of the University of Western Cape, South Africa 2010 Honorary Doctorate. Award in Public Health.
Olufemi-Kayode believes that one other factor, which has contributed to rape cases going unpunished  is the refusal of the families of victims to see the cases through. She said even when no financial cost is involved in trying rape cases, families discourage litigations because of   the wrong impression that the girl child would not be able to marry when she becomes older if her status is public knowledge. “Family name and honour supersede the needs of the child victim,” she said.
She added:“The lack of knowledge of the short and long term consequences of sexual abuse and understanding of the dynamics of sexual violence has helped abusers to an enabling environment. Most adults do not have this information or knowledge and that affects plans for prevention and crisis response provision. To adult survivors, I say: forgive yourself and your abuser (s). Healing is a process, so take a step at a time.”
Olufemi-Kayode added that her husband has been of immense help. “My husband is my ‘pay back.’ My God paid back the years that the canker worm, palmar worm and all the worms had eaten. No man could have fit the trousers. He is my best friend, partner and chief supporter,” she said.

The Nation